Do you remember the text I’ve written on „How to recognise you’ve been in Turkey too long”? Of course, just after it got published on my blog, I (and my readers as well) got many more ideas on symptoms of this sickness, which were not included in the list.
But that’s how it usually goes about symptoms :)
So in reference to this text, I would like to present you something completely opposite today.
There is, apparently, also a sickness called:
“I’ve been in Turkey too short”.
But usually the person having it is not aware of it. Actually, quite the contrary, they have their heads in the clouds, shout „merhabas” to everyone they pass, love the whole Turkish world and… the whole Turkish world loves them.
And then, sooner or later (usually later) – we have this rude awakening because… we’ve simply been in Turkey too short!
I have to admit I had this sickness myself so I know what I’m talking about. Then I recovered, luckily, although the recovery process is not a pleasant one… But it’s still needed to function normally in Turkey. Ok, one can live in an imaginary bubble for years but sooner or later reality will hit them anyway. It doesn’t mean you will stop loving Turkey then, no. It’s just…hmm… let’s call it a more mature love then.
Because of my blog and my job, I’m always in contact with people having this sickness. But they are so cute and radiate with so much happiness that it would be just too hard to wake them from this dream. I find it hard, though, to reply to questions from the I’ve-been-in-Turkey-too-short people because…they just don’t take any advice… Just none.
And so, my dear Reader, if you think it concerns you too, please don’t worry. You’re not alone.
And if you’re not sure, here is the list of symptoms of being in Turkey too short:*
*[a short reminder: to read the below, you need the ability called „self-irony”. If you don’t know what it is, close this website or look it up on Google. Thank you.]:
26 signs that you have been in Turkey too short:
You’ve been in Turkey
too short if:
- You think that you’ve found your place on earth and your life “before Turkey” was not a real life at all but only some poor substitute.
- You want to move here ASAP, open your own business and live the „slow” life that Mediterranean way, without the rat race and the stress of your home country.
- You include “Hadi canım” or „Hadi ya” in every other sentence and you click your tongue when negating. [The hardcore version: and you think it makes you a local].
- You think that Turks are never in a hurry and never get stressed.
If you are to meet someone, you expect them to show up at 12.00, or 12:09 latest.
- You have a lot of friends who are always somewhere around and will always help you out: will find you a flat for rent, will assist you in the purchase of a leather jacket or in your residence permit application.
- If you’re a single woman, you’re sure that all of your Turkish friends that you have teas or beers with have only pure selfless feelings towards you.
- Actually, the above point also concerns women who are married… with foreigners.
- You know that you don’t have to know Turkish or watch the state tv in order to have an opinion on the affairs and politics of Turkey.
- Generally, you politicise, provoke discussions, ask Turks what they think about the president, the leading party, Atatürk, and share your opinions as if anyone cared.
- You think that your country is nothing when compared to Turkey. Here is where life begins!
- You plan to find a cool job as soon as you get a residence permit.
- You are sure that with your knowledge of languages and your qualifications, the employers will just scramble for you.
- And even if not, then you can always start with a job in some bar or a shop, or even clean people’s houses, right?
- You still believe that people here work 8 hours a day.
- You are absolutely sure that every arrangement you make or matter you deal with needs to be supported by a contract (hardcore version: …that both parties will stick to).
- You don’t fasten your seatbelts as „no one else does it” [yes, I know this point was also present on the first list, I cannot grasp it].
- You truly believe in everything others say.
- It also concerns policemen, clerks, customs officers and generally all public officers. You assume they must know what they’re talking about and you’re surprised when the information you get from them is contradictory.
- You cannot stop yourself and you buy a lot of gadgets before any trip to your country. Everything seems to be cooler, nicer, better quality.
- You’re afraid to go to a Turkish doctor.
You order Turkish tea everywhere and any time, even before a meal – it’s the Turkish national drink after all and saying no to it means offending someone.
- You bargain in each shop because bargaining is sacred for Turks.
- If a Turk tells you they will call you tomorrow about something, you expect them to call you tomorrow.
- You’re sure your friends speak perfect English/German/Russian (choose whatever matches best) since they laugh at your jokes.
- You think that this list is not funny at all, it’s rather quite stupid.
So now what, am I in trouble?
Or maybe you’re already past this stage and can now laugh about it? ;-)
Translated from Polish by Anna Sowińska (linkedin)